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Rewarding your child
When we see our children growing up, we can’t help but feel that our young ones resemble ourselves many years ago. They are full of hope and dreams and it is our duty to provide and give them the best that we can. Our children require tonnes of guidance from us, and often, parents may dish out rewards to motivate them. The issue of rewarding our children has been quite a debate in recent years, with critics pointing out that parents are too generous in rewarding their kids. This may result in overly sheltered and pampered children in today’s society. Of cause, there is absolutely nothing wrong with rewarding your child! You can reward your child for many occasions like coming up tops in class, improving on a weak subject, stopping a bad habit and doing a good deed. Let us examine why rewarding is essential portion in nurturing a child: • Motivation and encouragement. Children do not have the maturity to differentiate right from wrong and giving rewards is a good method of reinforcing a particular ideal. • Getting things done correctly. A reward will ensure that the child knows which actions deserve a reward or which action will result in a reprimand. • Inculcating positive habits. Different children have different personalities and different habits. Sometimes, offering a reward to inculcate a good habit works better than just repeated scolding or nagging. Then again, there are many types of rewards. A parent must take note that rewards are more than just handing out extra pocket money, new toys or ice-creams. A reward could come in the form of a compliment, a slightly longer time in front of the TV, a surprise trip to the zoo, or even a pat on the back. Which type of reward is suitable for your child, only the parents are able to decide. Some parents tend to replace rewards with punishments. It can work too, but remember, always do it in moderation. Ultimately, we would not want our children to be fearful of us. Below are some modifications or suggestions to improve the rewarding system: Get rid of the guilty conscience. Parents may feel that they are too harsh on their children. We must bear in mind that we want them to grow up with the proper behaviour and best manners and reprimanding is part of the process. Add in some tender loving care! A pat on the back, a praise from your mouth, a big hug and a kiss on the cheek can also show how much you care for them! Draw up some boundaries. Yes, by doing this, your child will know some limitations. What is right or wrong, or what can be done or not. Hence, your child will not have a mindset that doing something correct will result in a reward. Positive speech. What I am referring to is communicating more to your child if he has committed something wrong. For example, instead of giving him a lecture, you could calmly comment that you are disappointed with his actions and thought he can perform much better. Apologizing. This is something which I was brought up with. When my mum made a mistake, she would apologize and similarly she expects an apology from me when I committed an error. Draw up a reward chart. I had this program in my primary school. Basically, when a child does something good, he will have a to his name on that day, and a if he commits a mistake. This is a method to motivate your child to perform better in every aspect! The bottom line is too many rewards in the form of cash or other material benefits is not recommended as it can result in your child being overly materialistic, pampered or calculative. Parents can sit down, think through and plan the appropriate rewards to give their children. However, as they grow up, there must be a gradual transition whereby our children can do the correct things without rewards. We must wean them from the rewards, just like how we would teach our child to swim initially with a float and slowly removing the float as they become better. Lets do our best to nurture our kids to become self-reliant, well-mannered and responsible adults!
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Contributor's Note
this article was first published on Qassia and will be part of www.mylittlesunshine.sg! This is a site that provides parenting tips, and other related functions for the Singapore Child!
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